The Game of Life
“I just want to be understood, to be validated, to be heard”someone said to me yesterday.
This is indeed a common desire and one that psychologists would have us believe is our right or at least necessary for happiness.
The assumption operating here is that the one who wants to be understood is equal or similar to the one we want the understanding from. And herein lies the essence of the problem. Taking ourselves to be creatures in the world, and therefore dependent on recognition from the world we have exchanged our real identity for a worldly creaturehood.
We have assumed that we are the same as what we perceive of others; living, walking, talking, feeling organisms.
As little kids we do this. We make the switch from direct perception to perceiving through another’s eyes. We learn to see ourselves through the eyes of another, as a walking, talking body with its own special name which we become identified with. We learn to take on mother’s pride when our legs learn to run. We learn to take on fathers fear when this body falls. “Johnny fell” says Dad and then I see the crying one as myself. In this way we have exchanged our sense of self from pure perception to perception filtered through the eyes of others. I become the crier, not the one who observes crying.
This filtering process is soon absorbed and we simply interpret everything through this filter. Everyone around us is pleased at how we are learning to fit into society. We learn to understand the game and our play is understand and encouraged too. Our great game of life has begun. Everyone is in on it. The great consent, pretending we are something we are not is underway. Everyone has exchanged original perception for the game of being a creature in the world.
It seems that almost everyone has forgotten how they fell into this great game. Most do not realise that it is a game. We take it for real.
We have exchanged our true identity for the identity of a pawn in a game.
One pawn wants to be understood by another pawn. One role player wants to be validated by another role player. One creature wants to be heard by another creature.
We have forgotton who we really are and in the process feel lost and lonely and vulnerable.
This is the human condition.
Spiritual work is about redressing this false identification. It’s about reclaiming our true identity.
It’s about undoing our shrinkage from true perceiver to creature.
Being understood, being validated, being heard mean little when you have reverted to your true nature and know that what you are is the perceiver of all, the creator of all, the omnipresent awareness of all.
Becoming who you really are is a matter of losing the filters that veil your true nature from yourself. You are there, always were, always will be, behind the game. It’s a matter of unconditioning yourself, freeing yourself from the false need for validation or being heard.